Here are some thoughts I have on Chile and perfectionism...
It must be something in the air, because Kyle talks about similar themes in her post today.
So I'm a bit of a perfectionist. You probably couldn't tell by knowing me, because I'm a perfectionist by my rules. I'm not your obvious perfectionist. I'm even quite a slob sometimes. But often I'm a frustrated over-achiever. I'm not going to get into explaining this because I could probably write chapters. But, to resume, no matter how much I do or achieve, it never seems to be enough. There's always something lacking. I'm programmed this way, and fortunately I know this, so I ignore it when I can.
Living among Chileans has made this aspect of my personality sooo much better. Like toned it down a ton! Because, in general, Chileans seem to be all about finding the short cut, and improvising when necessary. I've picked this habit up, and while I often have great expectations of what I can do during the week, I also have learned how to improvise and find the short cut, pretty much on a daily basis. It keeps me sane and actually it keeps me on track at the same time.
Also, so many things here are done soooo mediocrely* that there is no competition. I love cooking and dream of being an incredible cook when I'm a grandma. That's a goal I have, and I'm well on my way. Sometimes I get frustrated, however. V and I went to the Thai restaurant Samsara (in Valpo) when it opened. I ordered the yellow curry and it was excellent! It tasted just like my homemade yellow curry! *breathing on nails and buffing them on my shirt* Then we went to Ky, a Thai restaurant here in Santiago. V's red curry was absolutely to die for!!!! So, of course, I decided to make red curry. While it turned out quite well, it didn't turn out like the curry from Ky. Cuak. And I was upset about it. But then I think, "I do cook better food than most restaurants in Chile." And it makes me feel better. In fact most everything at Ky, besides the curries we ordered, wasn't very good at all. So having little or no competition actually disarms my perfectionism because I have nothing to compare myself to.
Since I'm a WASP, a white, anglo-saxon protestant, I have it drilled into me that good work ethic makes you a good person. It's not so much about appearance (like it seems to be here in Chile), but about achieving results. I used to judge myself by how much I got done in a day, if I finished my to-do list. (Don't do that, it's not worth it.) It was in Spain where I first realized how crazy it was to judge my self-worth by how much I got done on my to-do list. Here in Chile I've only honed my relationship with it. I still have my to-do list, but it no longer is a prueba of how perfect I am. It's now a tool that orients me in the direction I want to go. While before, I was sure to get everything I possibly could on my to-do list done ASAP, now I don't. Some things never get done, as they end up being totally irrelevant, other things get done normally, and some take longer, and probably some things don't take as long. I don't know if it's my ripe age, haha, or Chile, but I seem to pace myself even more realistically then I did before living here.
So I guess I'm using [what I consider to be] a cultural flaw to offset the bad effects of a character flaw. - to borrow a conclusion from John Perry's essay on procrastination.
*I know "mediocrely" doesn't exist as an adverb, but it should.
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8 comments:
"But, to resume, no matter how much I do or achieve, it never seems to be enough. There's always something lacking. I'm programmed this way, and fortunately I know this, so I ignore it when I can."
You and me both!
Looks like we did a mini group blog, with just the two of us unwittingly. I'm going to link to your post if you don't mind.
I agree, living in this country you sort of have to tone down the perfectionism or you will be constantly annoyed.
hahahaha. Word about toning down the perfectionism here! It's true, it would be annoying to be as perfectionist here as in the States.
I'll link to you too. Weird how we talked about similar things. Must be something in the air.
I feel like the US also encourages perfection in cooking. This week I made Dhal. But you know, it wasn't enough to just throw in some spice. I bought them whole, toasted them, and then ground them myself. It was to die for. Then I made cookies from 101 cookbooks blog and the recipe was like "you must use real, non-dutch pressed cocoa, whole wheat pastry flour, fine sea salt, and non-refine turbinado sugar, etc. etc. I eat stuff like that up! I'm like Whole Foods best customer. But it gets out of hand. I think my cooking was just as delicious while I was in Chile, and I learned to improvise beautifully. A great cook can cook in any kitchen, with any tools. One of the world's most famous asian chefs, (forget his name right now) said that he became such a better chef when he lived in Peru because he had to learn to improvise and didn't always have the ingredients he was used to having in Japan..
Anyway... I totally identify with the perfectionist thing, especially in cooking, and I agree that Chile mademe chill out, a bit, too. But sometimes now it's just so amazing to be any to find any ingredient whenever i want it!
I'm a perfectionist too. I really hope that with time Chile will tone it down a bit because I really think life would be a little bit easier that way.
That being said, I just barely made a to-do list for tomorrow before reading your post...haha.
It was great meeting you tonight!!
I totally agree with you...believe it or not, Chile has calmed me down slightly. I'm still a total perfectionist control freak, but less so than pre-Chile because here I know that a) sometimes it really is just out of my control and b) sadly enough people probably didn't ever expect me to do what I said I would, so they won't be surprised if something falls through.
Amanda, word! When I used to cook in my home town, if I was missing one ingredient, I would make a trip to the grocery store to pick up just that ingredient. Now sometimes I have half the ingredients I need and I still make the recipe work. It does totally flop from time to time when one of the missing ingredients was KEY, but ususally the dish works out just fine.
Abby, it was fun meeting you too! We'll have to get together again.
I'm going to post a link to the "false beginner" activities we talked about on the EFL blog. They are superduper useful.
Emily, sometimes I love the fact that Chileans don't expect me to do what I said I would. It takes a lot of pressure off. And many times I end up doing it anyway, but months later.
There is a yummy Thai restaurant in Valpo? Omg, I need like exact longituede and latitude.
Oh, we put your chilenismo blog up as our blog of the week. http://www.languagenerdadventures.blogspot.com/
Thanks Sara. Yeah, the Thai restaurant is called Samsara and it's on Almirante Montt just past Urriola when you're climbing the hill.
http://www.samsararestaurante.cl/
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