"Tengo el poto como colador"

Translation: "My ass is acting like a colander."

**Note: my ass isn't acting as a colander at this minute, I'm just posting this as a "travel tip"

Many of us gringos in Chilito have gotten food poisoning from time to time. It's to be expected. Whether the Augustian changes in weather screw you over, or you eat a typical Chilean delicacy sold in the street: canine shish-ka-bob, or you have fried fish at a market on a Sunday afternoon, or you ate the wrong piece of fruit, or your once (tea) the evening before consisted of quiche and beer, or you drank too much water right after arriving to Chile and before your body was acclimated, we all end up in the same place: at the porcelain throne.

It's a painful experience, your stomach & intestines seem to grow a mind of there own. Some of us experience this time and again, unfortunately. But we will get through. Hang in there. Have someone buy you some gatorade, and divide your time wisely between the bathroom and the bed. If the vomiting doesn't ease off, and your ass doesn't stop acting as a colander in a few hours, it's time to go to the emergency room. I've got the magic pill that has kept me from the emergency room at least twice now. And some of you may have it too. It's Entero Micinovo (one of the few drugs in Chile that you need a prescription for, hehehe). A WONDER DRUG to stop the "churi-churi" as Don V (the one in the middle) calls it. hehehe. It was prescribed the first time I went to the ER at the Clinica Alemana in Valpo. And if you take it when you don't have the churi-churi, you'll probably be constipated for a month.

One of the sucky consequences of food poisoning is the sensitive stomach afterward. For the next week you have to watch what you eat and your diet will resemble this:

breakfast: galletas de agua con quesillo (crackers and tasteless "cheese")
té (tea)

lunch: sopa de pollo y arroz (chicken and rice soup)

dinner: galletas de agua con quesillo
té

It's an effective way to lose 5+ pounds in one week. Though I would prefer other, less painful, dieting possibilities to this one.

**If I find the "menu" or list of food that the Clinica Alemana recommended I eat for two weeks after being sick, I will post it here, as I don't doubt it will be useful to some other poor gring@.

Edit February 13th: Okis, so I didn't find the "regimen dietetico" from the Clinica Alemana, but I did find one from Integramedica. Here goes:

bebidas sin cola, agua sin gas
té, aguas de hierbas, matico, menta manzanilla
gatorade, chamyto
galletas de agua y de chuño
pollo, pavo y arroz cocido, fideos cocidos
jaleas, compotas
manzanas y peras cocidas (el auga en que fueron preparadas)
evitar alimentos en conserva (enlatados, en cajas, en frascos)
evitar salsas
no fumar.

Anyhoo, this is just one of the realities of living in the "third world".

I've just come across my "regimen blando sin residuos" from the Clinica Alemana de Valpo:

Alimentos permitidos:
quesillo o queso fresco
carne de vacuno sin grasa (posta, lomo liso, asiento, etc.)
pollo sin grasa y sin cuero
pescado fresco cocido al horno o a la olla (merluza, congrio)
clara de huevo
fideos cocidos
arroz cocido, salado o dulce con canela
galletas de agua, soda o chuño
azúcar, en cantidad moderada
jalea
chuño o maicena en agua
aceite crudo agregado al momento de servir los alimentos
aliños; solo sal, limón, canela, óregano
bebidas: té simple, auga mineral sin gas, coca-cola sin gas, infusiones de hierba antiespasmódicas (anís, manzanilla), agua de arroz con canela

Ejemplo de Minuta:
desayuno: té puro y 4 galletas de soda con quesillo

colación: maicena en agua con canela y caramelo

almuerzo: sopa de posta con fideos cabello
pollo cocido con arroz blanco
jalea y 2 galletas de soda o agua

once: chuño en agua, 4 galletas de agua con quesillo

cena: sopa de pollo con arroz
posta molida con fideos cocidos
jalea y 2 galletas de agua